100 Christmas Jokes for Kids & Adults: Funny Puns, Riddles & Cracker Jokes

Christmas is better with laughter. These 100 Christmas jokes are clean and family-friendly, perfect for Christmas crackers, lunchbox notes, cards and the dinner table.

Santa jokes

1. What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clauses.
2. Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him.
3. What does Santa use to bake? Elf-rising flour.
4. What do you call a broke Santa? Saint Nickel-less.
5. How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free? Claus-et hangers.
6. What’s Santa’s favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jolly.
7. Why is Santa so good at karate? He has a black belt.
8. What kind of photos do elves take? Elfies.
9. What do you call Santa when he takes a break? Santa Pause.
10. What does Santa say at the start of a race? “Ready, set, ho!”
11. Which state does Santa love most? Idaho-ho-ho.
12. Why did Santa learn to garden? He wanted to hoe-hoe-hoe.
13. What is Santa’s favorite candy? Jolly Ranchers.
14. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can hoe, hoe, hoe.
15. What do you call someone afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic.

Reindeer jokes

16. Why did Rudolph get a bad report card? He went down in history.
17. What do reindeer hang on their trees? Horn-aments.
18. How do you know Santa’s reindeer are good at music? Rudolph has perfect pitch.
19. What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No eye-deer.
20. What do you call a reindeer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye-deer.
21. Why did the reindeer cross the road? Because it was tied to the chicken.
22. What game do reindeer play? Stable tennis.
23. What’s a reindeer’s favorite coffee? Deer-caf.
24. How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming? He checks his calen-deer.
25. Why don’t reindeer like gossip? They hate hearing the latest dirt on their hooves.

Elf and snowman jokes

26. What do elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
27. What did the snowman say to the other snowman? “Do you smell carrots?”
28. Where do snowmen keep their money? In a snow bank.
29. What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
30. What’s an elf’s favorite music? Wrap music.
31. Why are elves good listeners? Because they are all ears.
32. How do snowmen get around? By icicle.
33. What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper.
34. What did the snowman order at the fast-food restaurant? An ice burger with chilly sauce.
35. How does an elf feel when he’s cold? Shelf-conscious? No — just elf-shivering!

Christmas knock-knock jokes

36. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow time to waste — it’s Christmas!
37. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Christmas!
38. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive the other reindeer!
39. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hannah. Hannah who? Hannah partridge in a pear tree.
40. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Elf. Elf who? Elf me wrap these presents!
41. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
42. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yule. Yule who? Yule love this joke!
43. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Avery. Avery who? Avery merry Christmas to you!
44. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again!
45. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Wenceslas. Wenceslas who? Wenceslas train home?

Christmas cracker jokes

46. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas? Sandy Claws.
47. What do sheep say at Christmas? “Merry Christmas to ewe!”
48. What’s the best Christmas present? A broken drum — you just can’t beat it.
49. Why was the turkey in the pop group? It was the only one with drumsticks.
50. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinsel-itis.
51. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? “It’s Christmas, Eve!”
52. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed a trim.
53. What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.
54. What do angry mice send at Christmas? Cross-mouse cards.
55. What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes “ribbit”? A mistle-toad.

Christmas jokes for kids

56. What do you call a snowman in summer? A puddle.
57. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He felt crummy.
58. What falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt? Snow.
59. What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
60. Why don’t Christmas trees knit? They always drop their needles.
61. What did the stamp say to the Christmas card? “Stick with me and we’ll go places.”
62. What is a parent’s favorite Christmas carol? “Silent Night.”
63. Why is it cold at Christmas? Because it’s in Decem-brrrr.
64. What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.
65. What do penguins wear on their heads? Ice caps.

Christmas jokes for adults (clean)

66. My family told me to stop telling Christmas jokes, but I said, “Not a chance — they sleigh me.”
67. I tried to give myself a Christmas gift, but I saw it coming.
68. Christmas is the only time of year it’s normal to sit in front of a dead tree eating candy out of socks.
69. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… and a nap.
70. Wrapping presents is a sport. I’m on the tape team.
71. What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal one? The Christmas one has Noel.
72. Why did the ornament go to therapy? It was hung up on the past.
73. My diet starts in January. Every January.
74. Christmas shopping tip: buy two of everything — one for them, one for you.
75. I asked Santa for a fit body. He brought cookies instead.

Christmas riddles

76. What has many needles but can’t sew? A Christmas tree.
77. I’m tall when I’m young and short when I’m old. What am I? A candle.
78. What comes down but never goes up? Snow.
79. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic.
80. What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs? The clock counting down to Christmas.
81. What gets wetter the more it dries? A towel after washing Christmas dishes.

Short Christmas puns

82. Yule be fine.
83. Have yourself a merry little Christmas, you deer.
84. Resting grinch face.
85. Tree-t yourself.
86. Don’t get your tinsel in a tangle.
87. Sleigh all day.
88. Oh snap — it’s a gingerbread man.
89. Season’s eatings.
90. Fleece Navidad.
91. Let it glow.
92. Pine and dandy.
93. Gift wrap battle champion.
94. Snow way!
95. Hot cocoa-holic.
96. Jingle bell rock star.
97. Merry Swishmas (for basketball fans).
98. All is calm, all is bright… until the kids wake up.
99. I elf-ing love Christmas.
100. Have a holly, jolly laugh!

Pair the laughs with our Christmas quotes, Christmas trivia, best Christmas movies and Elf on the Shelf ideas.

FAQ

What is the funniest Christmas joke?

“What do you call a reindeer with no eyes? No eye-deer!” is a classic that makes kids and adults laugh.

What are good Christmas cracker jokes?

Short puns like “Sandy Claws,” “Merry Christmas to ewe” and the broken drum joke are perfect for crackers.

Are these Christmas jokes kid-friendly?

Yes, every joke on this page is clean and family-friendly.